Frustration, disappointment, anger, resentment, disapproval and bitterness are few emotions which come to us as naturally as other so-called positive feelings do. These emotions are not considered ideal as they are against the general choice of people. But, even these are inevitable as in one’s life, unfavorable circumstances do occur due to which we give away some unavoidable reaction. Hence, it becomes all the more important that we learn proper ways to communicate negative feelings without souring our relations.




Differentiating Feelings from Beliefs and Thoughts
Negative emotions are an integral part of the way humans interact. Expressing these properly forms the basis of all interpersonal relationships. In the process of blurting it out, we tend to hurt our friends, spouse, children, or fellow workers. One should always try to abstain from sudden violent rage as it may lead to name-calling, using sarcastic comments or ridiculing others, for purposefully hurting someone. The worst thing happens when these feelings remain inside you without ever finding a vent.
Thoughts are also quite similar to this. One’s reaction comprises of feelings as well as thoughts. But, feelings are a form of emotions and beliefs, thoughts, convictions and interpretations are not. Negative emotions need to be expressed after dulling the sharp and harmful edges which allows us to overcome them also. Hence, it is important that you find ways to communicate negative feelings rather than thoughts as only then you would successfully overcome them.

Tips for Expressing Negative Feelings
- Feelings should be expressed productively.
- Others should be confronted with respect when their behavior is bothering you.
- Don’t let feelings to build up so that bigger problems can be avoided.
- Don’t attack the other person’s self-esteem while expressing negative emotions.
- Precisely clarify what you are feeling.
- Communicate in a way which will make the person ready for listening rather than making him defensive.
- Make the expression more impactful by looking at the person who you are talking to.
- The tone of the voice as well as the facial expressions should be consistent with the emotions which are being expressed.

Using Proper Statements
There are two kinds of statements which hold a special place amongst the various ways to communicate negative feelings.
- I Feel can be used in simple and clear situations where the intention is to express your feelings without hurting someone’s self-esteem. The spoken statement should precisely convey what you felt when the other person had done something.
- I Messages focus specifically on your feelings and are employed in complex situations where it is important that someone accurately understands your feelings. They consist of four main parts:
1. When: Describe the behavior of someone in a non-judgmental and non-blameful manner, which has offended you.
2. I Feel: Express your feelings before they build up.
3. Effects Are: Describe your reaction to the person’s behavior.
4. I’d Prefer: Let the other person know about he/she should have rather done.

One should always remember that relations are an important part of one’s life. Hence, never mix your past confrontations with the present well-being of your relations. Unnecessarily going to the extremes is not going to bring any good. Hence, honest and calm communication holds the key to successfully implementing all the ways to communicate negative feelings.