Be available for your child

-         be aware of moments when your child is willing to talk – before dinner, when he goes to bed, in the car, just be available
-         open discussion, so your child will realize that you care about what is happening with him
-         find time, at least once per week, to spend some of your time just with your child doing something what he likes
-         observe your child’s interests and document about them so you will have common topics of discussion – his favorite music or the activities which pleases him
-         you should initiate the discussions and explain the things you though about rather than to ask him questions

Let your child know that you really hear

-         when your child is telling you about his activities, stop any other activity and listen to him
-         show interest in what he is telling you without being intrusive
-         listen to his point of view even if it is very different then yours
-         let him finish what he has to say before you answer
-         repeat what you heard from him just to make sure that you understood correctly his point of view

-         your child will get away from you if you become angry or defensive
-         state your opinion without rejecting his opinion, admitting that it’s okay to disagree
-         resist the temptation to create disputes about what is the right thing to do. Instead, tell him “I know you disagree with me but this is what I think”
-         during the conversation, focus on your child feelings rather than to focus on what you feel

-         ask your child about his expectations from the conversation you both have – he wants an advice, he wants just to be heard, he wants help to understand his own feelings or maybe he wants to solve a problem
-         children learn by imitation; most of the times he will mimic the way you solve a problem or he will face the emotions.
-         Talk to you child – do not preach, criticize or do not say things that might hurt him
-         Children learn from their own mistakes; as long as the consequences of their acts are not dangerous, it is better not to get mixed
-         It is possible that your child to tell you just a small part of what is going on, what he has on his mind. Listen carefully what he says, encourage him to speak and this way maybe he will tell you the whole story