We all communicate. Then, why not to try to communicate effectively? There are several advantages if you know how to communicate effectively.

- improves your well being and your mood
- you decrease conflict and stress
- improves the social support
- you can reduce hostility
- you can also reduce the possibility to get sick.

Maybe you have others reasons beside these, but it does not matter, what really matters is the importance of effective communication skills. With a little practice you can learn to say what you feel, what you think, and what you want, clear and comfortable. You can learn to say effectively what you like and what you do not, to accept graciously the compliments that you receive, to face criticism, to say no, – all those without inducing  extra stress to your mind and body. And because you will communicate more directly, other people will be willing to “meet” your needs.

There are some simple ways that to improve your communication and one of them is to learn to listen. Perhaps it goes without saying but a good listening is more than just to sit quietly, smile and hear the words of someone. It is a process that requires active participation, openness and receptivity.

1. Ask question for clarification. Behavioral decisions you take in a relationship with someone, are dependent on the information that you have. Ask a question in a friendly way when something is not clear. When you ask questions, you demonstrate your concern and interest. You can ask questions like: “Can you tell me more about this, please?” or “Can you give me an example?” or just say “I do not understand, explain please”.

Some people feel like they are attacked when someone is asking them questions. So, do this gently and supportive. Be careful especially with the question “Why”. For example: “Why are you talking like this?” use instead “Are you mad on something about me?”; or instead of “Why you did not call?” you rather use “You had to much work to do?”

2. Repeat what you heard. From the perspective of the one who is communicating, it is clearly when he does, but from the listener perspective, maybe it is not that obvious because listening is an internal process of the one who listens and then it is needed to “come to life”. Interlocutor’s words are the most vivid proof that someone is listened. If you do not pay attention when someone talks to you, you can not hear the words for real and then you can not reproduce them.

3. Find significance.

Repeating interlocutor’s words it does not always mean that we paid attention to his significance of the communication. Asking the right question you will be able to understand everything.

4. Ask about feelings.

Let your interlocutor to know that you heard about the emotional content of his communication. Listen between the lines. What does he feel but he does not say? You can be empathetic if you wonder yourself : “hmm, what can you feel from this experience?”

The body language (nonverbal communication) can give you many clues: posture, facial expression and gestures, they all emphasize emotions and then you can ask the person directly: “I see your tense, how do you feel?”

Any reason we might have for which communication seems more difficult to us, this should be an sign that there is a skill that can be learned.