We lead our life in a very ebullient epoch of visual and aural communication and the spoken word or as I call communication skills acquire new values and more importance. The actors of the new society use the spoken words to justify their role and their place. If we want to have friends, to prevent a conflict, to offer a flower we must use the verbal communication skills. If suddenly, all people would totally forget the words they know and use them each day, nobody couldn’t talk with nobody: the lover with his girl, the kid with his mother, the teacher with pupils, the patient with the medic and so on.



Through words, we try to convince  and influence the others actions, using them we communicate what we know or we may find what we are looking for, with these spoken words we fire up the passion, desire and fantasies. Just through words, all the interactions become possible also we can deliver our experience. The interest dedicated to verbal communication it’s not anymore a happening but a necessity. If indoor fitness helps us in becoming more healthy and rangy, you’d be surprised to find out that you can become a good speaker thanks to some vocal techniques.

There are some exercises too very useful in having a beautiful voice.  These exercises of vocal technique can contour the truly “you” recording to world.  We’ve listened and we continue to listen with immensely pleasure tens or hundreds of personalities who totally own the art of speaking in public, what we also call elocution. But this thing doesn’t mean that all the persons promoted on radio or television holds that simple and beautiful speech.

Like Stanislavsky said about this kind of acoustic elocution: “the truly melodiousness, that sustained rhythm, real and different that expresses very well and calm the inside drown of our thought and feelings. Through conscious effort, well sensed, the volubility, those organs of speech are endless improving. A hard work can help everybody in expressing as much as natural and gradating all the ideas you want to deliver. Personally, I met lot of people who had some slips of tongue or other defects in expressing their ideas and all of them seemed to have no hope in reaching their goal in correctly framing the syllables.

But, why not bethinking at all the engaged in perfumes enterprises who, through work and exercises, they improved so well their olfactory sense that now they can distinguish tens of savors that a layman cannot distinguish. The same things happen with people that work with textures. They can distinguish like forty tinctures of the same color. But the most beautiful example is represented by the most envied category of persons: wine tasters, those persons who have fine tastes in wines.

Nonverbal communication is about delivering messages using no words. When talking about non-linguistic communication we can talk about body language and para verbal communication. But, body language has the most powerful effect upon the others because this type of communication may jazz up a day or can provide you a nervous mood. A smiley person, active, funny and agile will prettify your day while a apathetic guy can bore you.


Paul Ekman considers that facial expressions can communicate lot of information but sometimes not all of them are voluntary. While people make some facial movements for delivering messages, emotion’s facial expressions are automatic.
“ The repertoire of nonverbal behavior:categories, origins, usage and coding” is a textbook signed by Paul Ekman and Wallace F. Friesen. In this manual, both authors frame a system of categories for ranging nonverbal communication catering for origins, usage and coding. Between all those codes we find also affect displays that express sensitive mood. Talking about nonverbal communication, we find out that it’s based on gestures, pantomime and all body’s movements. Voluntary or automatic, pantomime has an important usage in interpersonal relationships.

For example, the pose of our head is very suggestive.  Rise up or depressed, left or right inclined, it’s pose can deliver lot of messages. For example:

-a head posed onward may suggest a menace signal ;
-a depressed head means obedience ;
-a head oblique inclined  means perfidy ;
-those who rise up their head showing their necks are very portly personalities, they have no fears ;
-those who rise up their heads in a powerful manner suggest their arrogant personalities;
-a head right inclined means compliance, clemency ;
-a head left inclined means incredulity, doubt, criticism.
The way we are posing our head may attest our interest, our bearing, apathy, abhorrence.  When we rock our head up and down we approve a statement, we agree with it, we understand it but when we rock our head from left to right and from right to left we counter something, we deny, we disagree with the statement. Sometimes, this reaction may disappoint our speaker.

Also, communication using affection displays contains also the pantomime like frown, contract, nose corrugate, lips bite. A contract front means concern, choler, tilt, eyebrows frown means  amazement while nose corrugate means disgust. Pantomime is the easiest nonverbal signal to decode. Sometimes, pantomime can be nervous, being influenced by lots of moods, powerful sensations and may signify a huge sensitiveness to exterior stimulation.
Darwin R. Charles observed that pantomime associated to sensations it’s common for all human beings. After he got informed, made some analysis for studying this phenomena, Darwin got to a conclusion. It seems that exists an universal pantomime.

Initially, nonverbal communication it has been seen like an automatic thing, like your body or your face wanted to help the verbal communication in delivering messages.  As time passed, some people started to find some definitions for nonverbal communication. Nowadays, in textbooks, we find lot of definitions for this type of communication and it seems that all of them were approved.

We can call nonverbal communication a system of nonlinguistic marks and we can accept a definition when we are choosing a perspective of attacking the process of delivering all these nonlinguistic marks. Usually, nonverbal communication creates lot of meanings. I am talking about a pluralism of messages delivered with no words but all those messages can be decoded. This system of nonlinguistic marks has many roles in communication.


They can repeat, counter, supply, charge or accentuate the message delivered through words. Albert Mehrabian was the first person who brought in discussion the importance of nonverbal communication. This happened in 1967. Are you curious about Albert Mehrabian’s conclusions? Well, find out that only 5% from message it’s delivered using verbal communication while 38% it’s delivered in vocal manner and 55% using body language.

It’s obviously that it’s a huge difference between nonverbal and verbal communication. There are also derivative forms of communication like writing. It seems that are lot of channels for human communication. That’s why disciplines like philology, sociology, psychology, anthropology provided an ample important place to nonverbal communication. Human communication is a system of vocal, visual and acoustic elements, all of these getting combined for creating this vital process.

If we want to analyze the structure of nonverbal communication than we must cater for lot of nonlinguistic marks like codes, models and aims involved in delivering messages. Kits of marks and codes are used in nonverbal communication. Combined, they form a very helpful structure for nonlinguistic communication. I can give you an example. Usually, visual signals can be associated to olfactory codes. But, in fact, these codes are sensory stimulation that impress all human being senses like eyesight, audition, tact, and flavor. Lot of categories referring to nonverbal communication was framed catering of these codes and delivering channels.

J. Ruesch and W. Kess framed the initially nonverbal communication categories. Gestures, body language and objects language were parts of those categories.

What is unbelievable about this automatic process is how much it helps us in getting well understood, in delivering messages, in expressing our feelings, in accepting or denying. Albert Mehrabian started to analyze this process hardly in 1967 and then, slowly, started to appear definitions about nonverbal communication, this nonlinguistic process that simply makes life more easily including all our senses and sensory stimulation. Fortunately, nowadays are lots of textbooks which treat this process with maximal care. All these being said, I’m glad that nonverbal communication can be now called a discipline.

Communication theory has undergone a major route in its development, from ancient Greek rhetoric and Transactional Analysis, Neuro –Linguistic Programming, Palo Alto school techniques. Communication concept is used in various sectors of private understandings of knowledge. From the Latin word "communication", communication acquires a metaphysical timbre, surprising a double dimension: the sacred and the community. We call human communication a transactional type process by which people transfer energies, emotions, feelings and meanings change, in terms of education, communication has the role of premise, source, means and effect.



Levels of communication
Human communication can be carried out on five levels: intrapersonal communication, interpersonal communication, mass communication, public communication and group communication.

Intrapersonal communication
It is a genuine process of communication, even if the transmitter and receiver is the same, and encoding and decoding messages is not absolutely necessary.



Interpersonal Communication

This involves the sounding of our inner world, the communication in and to itself. It can take the form of direct and indirect and it has multiples targets:
-         persuading the interlocutor
-         recognition of personal value
-         satisfy the emotional needs, control and domination needs
-         creating and maintaining human connections.

Public communication

It is a specialized form of communication between people who have roots in ancient rhetoric.

Mass Communication
Assume a manufacturer of institutional written messages, spoken, visual or audiovisual, addressed to a large audience. This type of communication does not receive effective feedback.

Group communication

This type of communication unfolds in small human collectivity and allows the community to exchange ideas and emotions, offers conditions to share experiences, and discussions in order to end conflicts or to solve problems.

Research has highlighted the relationship between information, its flow and group dynamics. Yona Friedman proved that at the level of global group, the communication is an illusion, regardless of the means of communication to the caller. The valence in communication concept was introduced and this represents the number of people with which an individual may communicate (at receiving or at sending). Receiving capacity of a human being is made by the relationship between information and time, estimated at 40 bits / sec. The second concept introduced by Yona Friedman is the capacity of transmission, defined by the relation between information received and the information transmitted.

Yona Friedman shows the groups from a perspective of the information, identifying two types:  egalitarian and hierarchical group. In a group, the hierarchy is established based on information balance of each individual, the balance being the difference between the influences that the individual receive and those that he pursues. When the balance is equal for all members of the group, the group is egalitarian and if the balance is different, the group is hierarchical. Yona Friedman defines influence as “the result of an exchange between one and several individuals, the influence of the former being measured by the effect of exchanging information on the behavior of others”.

Group communication techniques

Without a reliable recipe, you can talk about an effective strategy which allows the shaping of an effective work, the communication, networking group. Directions of interest are: group training activities, especially the maintenance activities.



Group training activities. The important objectives of these activities are:
-         Mutual understanding and self knowledge;
-         Knowledge and awareness of personal learning style;
-         Stimulation and the awareness of the participation level in group activities;
-         Fostering empathy;
-         Ensuring assuming the role / task group.

To streamline the work group, to make it work as a team, it is welcome the concern to identify the appropriate role of the members, or the role of the under groups members.  It is considered that the roles assumed in the group are: team worker, the evaluator, the completing member, the company worker, technical assistant, the researcher, the modeler, the president.

Team worker – is the guarantee of the effective cooperation, through his qualities of a good listener his ability to adapt easily, through flexibility and empathy; he brings his contribution to achieving the objectives and he has a good exercise of diplomacy.

The evaluator – thinks critically and takes decisions after following a consistent analysis. He occupies key positions that require reliability and consistency.

Completing member – he engage in activities with clear purpose, he sets priorities and he works accurately. He makes the fine analysis of things and he gives the attention to details.

The company worker – is very effective because of the discipline, the power of self control, and because of the preference for hard work. He proves loyalty.

The researcher – he follows what is useful and he responds to others ideas and he develop them easily.

The technical assistant – he is maintaining the quality standards show constant concern for the assimilation of technical and specialized knowledge.

The modeler – is an extrovert person who aims to win. He has a lot of energy and he mobilizes others to action. He works even under pressure and he makes appropriate and useful changes.

The president – a person who is working individually, is exploiting his own creative spirit, intellect. He is weak in communication and he reacts violently to criticism. He is defending and develops his own ideas but he engages effectively in solving complex problems.

Maintaining group activities. Those activities have as a target:
-         to ensure group cohesion and to build a collaborative relationship by avoiding the creation of certain small groups, avoiding the “churches”.
-         to promote the group identity through a positive attitude and also a positive image about themselves.
-         to ensure the participation of the group members to the group discussions.
-         active listening skills training in order to achieve the objectives mentioned above; questionnaires can be used, worksheets, etc.

I will enumerate some techniques for effective communication in the group, relevant to the issues mentioned and applied in the work with pupils / students, and in the adult learning activities:
- The Coat of Arms technique
- the rotary communication technique
- the Turtle technique
- Panel discussion
- Brainstorming technique, etc.

Although it seems simple the meaning of communication is more complex and full of substrate. Communication has many meanings, a lot of goals and as many ways of expression and manifestation. People are living in the community by things virtue that they have in common and communication is how they get to have things in common. Communication is one that provides similar intellectual and emotional dispositions, similar ways of responding to expectations and requirements.



There are several types of communication:
-         intrapersonal communication which is communication to and by itself
-         interpersonal communication which is communication between people
-         group communication – which is the communication between group members and the communication between group members with other people
-         mass communication – which is communication received or used by a large number of people.

The purpose of communication is: to inform others, to alert others, to explain something, to persuade, to describe things or feelings, etc.

Communication is made on three levels: verbal, Para verbal and nonverbal. If there are no contradictions between these levels, communication may be effective; otherwise the message sent will not have the desired effect.

Communication is very effective on personality because today, the individual is defined according to others, and the behavior is a construction of the person interacting with others. The interaction is attracting concomitant the communication.

And so, if we communicate more, we have better chances to create strong personalities.

Communication is the individual’s key to society and to integrate into it. Lack of communication draws to imminent removal of the group, team, company, etc.

The art of communication is a natural process or a skill with which we are born. We learn to communicate, that is why we must study what we learn, so we can use our knowledge more effectively. Any communication involves creation and exchange of meanings. These meanings are represented by “signs” ad “codes”. It seems that people have a real need for “reading” the meaning of any human activity. Observing and understanding this process may cause us to be more aware about what happens when we communicate.

Teaching communication specificity is determined by circulated educational contents, followed by the purpose of teaching, by its organized and systematic nature, by the subordination in relation with a set of rules and principles of the psycho-pedagogical and of the relationship teacher – student particularities.

According to Adler and Towne’s opinion the most part of the all messages are communicated through nonverbal communication. These include the tangible messages (posture, gestures, eye contact and physical contact), space communication (distance between two people who converse) and paralanguage (tone, intonation, accent used, speech rate, volume, etc.).

There are many ways to improve communication and for example, to avoid blockages that can interfere with the child’s communicate behavior we must know that the interlocutor attitude is learned and this implies:

-         to know how to listen
-         to listen until the end
-         to show interest in the topic addressed
-         to show interest in terms of the other
-         to take into account the views of others, etc.

17 rules for a good communication

- sent messages addressed at the first person (the language of responsibility), focused on what the transmitter is feeling and on the speaker's behavior, preventing so the defensive reactions in communication; the communication process is more complete, it can be communicated emotions and describe behaviors without making evaluations and attacks to the person.



- be spontaneous in expressing personal opinions, try not to impose your points of view. Manipulation is a form of communication which is transmitting the non accepting message and disbelief in the taken decisions.

- listen carefully, the active listening is a way to listen and respond which brings to an improvement of mutual understanding and to overcoming the obstacles in communication. The empathetic communication contains messages of understanding, compassion and affection for the speaker.

- avoid stereotypes and prejudices because they are leading to negative opinions about others, they are the cause of some actions and negative emotions, are taking to discrimination, violence and genocide.

- leave the speaker the possibility to make a negative evaluation of their actions or attitudes, criticism does not necessarily lead to changing the other persons.

- use messages which will help the speaker in finding alternatives, possibilities to solve a certain situation. Often the advice is perceived by the other person as an insult over his intelligence, as a lack of trust in the capacity of the person to solve his own problems.

- avoid threats, insisting in applying a punishment for solving a problem / situation will generate negative feelings.

- avoid moralization, this causes anxiety feelings, stimulates resentments and block the honest statement of the other person.

- give proof of equality, the superior attitude may cause the forming of a faulty communication relationship, encourages the development of conflicts. Equality means unconditional acceptance and respecting each person, no matter the culture level or professional training.

- be aware of the sentimental factors, trying to convince through logical arguments or logical evidence may lead to frustration, it can even block the communication.

- ask for more information, ask open questions, one at a time, these are giving the speaker the possibility to open to you, in order to explore the thoughts and feelings, he is convinced that you are interested in what he says.

- use paraphrases, it is a communication method which has its role in clarifying the message, to easily communicate the needs. But do not use it too often.

- give the possibility to explore alternative solutions by using the brainstorm, by using reflective listening, talking possible results of choosing one of the alternatives, obtaining a commitment.

- use the diversion / deviation tactics if you wish to change the course of the conversation to the concerns of the person to your own concerns.

- use verbal confirmations, visual and non verbal, like the sounds which make the speaker to understand that you are listening to him with interest and respect.

- read the body language, focus on the key factors: face expressions, eyes expressions, the voice tone, the gestures, etc.

- ensure the necessary comfort while communicating.

An education system recognize inclusive the right of all children to be educated together and believes that education for all children is equally important. To achieve this communication system, inclusive education has a special role. That is why it is really necessary knowledge and its application with discernment and consistency on the following objectives:



-         understanding the role of communication in society and schools;
-         capturing the difficulties and pitfalls of intercultural communication;
-         identify the attitudes that blocks the interpersonal communication and intercultural communication;
-         active practice for understanding and listening attitude;
-         applying efficient educational communication techniques in general and especially interethnic;
-         creating a school environment (building, class) through which the message saying that everyone is valued, is transmitted;
-         put n value the individually progress by: providing a differentiated curriculum, intercultural and multicultural curriculum development, developing individual learning plans for students using teaching methods that encourage cooperative learning.

Inclusive education has emerged in response to the shortcomings of integrated education, which failed to prevent the marginalization of children, differed from the general “norm” of the school population.

Inclusive education is defined by the following features:
-         supports and confirms that all children can learn and need some form of support for learning
-         seeks to identify and to minimize barriers to learning
-         is wider then formal education, including : family education, community, other educational opportunities outside school
-         involves changing attitudes, behaviors, curriculum, satisfying the diversify of children
-         it is a dynamic process that continually develops, according to culture and context
-         it is part of the development strategy of an inclusive society.

So, in the current national context, the inclusive education becomes the type of education responsible of ensuring the right of education for all children, without any discrimination and most of all, ensuring a high quality education.

Achieving inclusive education is assuming:
-         the existence and application of inclusion principles: the principles of equal rights, the principal of nondiscrimination, the principle of equalization in education chances, the principle of centering on the child, the principle of early intervention, the principle of basic education for all children, the principle of ensuring support services, the principle of cooperation and partnership.
-         putting in application of an inclusive education, an education of diversity, which mainly contains the attributes of being: a pedocentrist, progressionist, personalized, optimistic, social, an education of love.
-         creating an inclusive curriculum, which to define itself through flexibility and diversity: a curriculum adapted to the child’s needs, the diversity of the learning situations and support materials; diversified education methodology, interactive, appropriate to the different styles and types of learning, diversity in evaluation: forms, methods, instruments.
-         creating and ensuring the functionality of a support service system in all of the education levels: psycho pedagogical, social assistance, medical assistance, learning support (support teacher).

Family relationship: the conflict between generations – communication between parents and teenagers

The conflict between generations has always existed but it seems like it never reached so highly rates like it does now. It may be society’s fault? Or maybe both parents and teenager’s concepts? Certainly we are witnessing at a rupture between generations that affects family relationships. We hear about cases in which the teenagers, because of the communication lack with their families, use unexplained gestures. Is this a hopeless situation?



Conflict between generations, a problem that will always exist

Drugs, prostitution, abortion, delinquency, school drop, etc, are natural results of the society where we live. All over mass media occur information about these cruel realities of life, and apparently the hardest thing is to be a parent. Feeling of fear, anxiety floods you should and you try to do anything possible to protect your child. We do not know exactly how aware are the teens of the danger that is lurking them, but parents, seeing all this becomes very protective and very strict with their children. The temptation is great, so is freedom and so the teens are getting confused, without any landmarks, they easily fall into environment traps. The conflict between generations is the result of different opinions and concepts. Some believe that it wells from the experience of the parents in opposite with the lack of experience of adolescents. Is it just that? Could these differences of opinion be based on the lack of family communication and the distrust in their own children?

Is there any solution to these problems? Solutions always exist, the whole thing is to want to find them and then apply them. In this case the solution found, needs to be accepted by both sides, parents and teenagers; both parts needs to give a little to their belief; parents needs to be more tolerant and lenient and on the other side, teenagers needs to be more cooperative and aware that their parents care about them and that they are wishing only good things for them. We all seek to improve family communication and avoid any kind of conflicts.

How to approach your child and make him understand that all that is around him is not just “crack” but also dangerous? – the parents are asking. It is not so tough. Step into their world, become interested of his activities, feelings, occupations, thoughts, encourage him and make him trust in his own powers. So you will manage to gain his trust and be able to guide him from the shadows towards good things.

How to become friends with your parents? By gaining their trust! Prove them you are a grown up and responsible and that you know what you are doing. This thing involves time and effort, and trust once gained must be maintained. This is one of the mined fields of the teenagers who rather than telling the truth to their parents, they are trying to come out with all kind of lies which sooner or later will come out.

The conflict between generations exists! It is triggered between teenagers who want to take it on the wrong roads and the parents who intervene in order to show them the right path. The punishment does not bring respect and not even a good family communication, which is why it is needed the maturity, the tact and experience of the adult in order to considerably diminish situations like this.

The messages which are circulating on regulated, preset channels, of an organization are creating the formal communication. The content of the communication is related to the organization's activity, to the work and to anything which is related to those. The formal communication can consist in verbal messages, nonverbal messages, written, under the shape of letters, telephone messages, radio messages, printed, internal notes. Even some gestures can consist in formal communication. The messages are transmitted by the authorized ones: on official channels, these arrive to the ones who need to react, to people or machines which need to know the content of these messages.



Usually, all formal communications are recorded and kept in the organization's evidence. Are retained copies of these by the transmitter, by the receiver, by all of the desks from the organization which need to know and keep the information. Examples of formal communications are given by work commands, reports and financial evidence, reports over sells / inventory, statements referring to the company's policies, post descriptions, etc.

The formal communication can sometimes take place on the horizontal, along the parallel directions of authority. The formal communication network from an organization along with the keeping spaces of these communications, are serving to more purposes. It defines the channel on which will be sent important messages. It will be created a transmitting plan of this information, both for the transmitter and for the receivers. It will be indicated the direction towards the persons who will react and to the persons who need to be informed about these actions, their steps and result. It offers an information storage space which will be necessary on planning the operations and control. It is created an ordered system for the superiors and subordinates, in order to keep each other informed constantly.

The formal communication network is formed out of formal channels, created by setting a formal system of responsibilities according to the hierarchical structure of the organization. The perfect network is the one which contains communication channel from bottom up, downwards and horizontally. Often the direction of horizontal communication is missing or it is inefficient and in this way the accuracy of the information decreases. The situation is appearing because of the lack of permanent circulation of the information between departments, although this is vital for the organization in conditions of existent competition, or the lack of specialists in organizational communication.

The downwards communications, from top to bottom, is performed by the manager to the subordinates. There are transmitted provisions and instructions, are identified the employees responsibilities. In an efficient organization, this type of communication has its purpose in motivating the employees, their continuous information about policy, goals and organization strategy. The periodicity is important because it ensures the constant communication. Sometimes this type of communication is gaining a preferred tempt, moving only towards the employees, considered as having priority responsibilities. It can have place even when only the manager is transmitting orders and instructions to the employees, without being too preoccupied about their information.

If the organization is in changing, the downwards communication must be used to change opinions, attitudes, to waste restrictions and fear towards misinformation in order to support the employees to comply with these changes. This type of communication requires a feedback. That is why it is completed with bottom up communication, from the employees to the manager. These, as they understand the downwards communication, can communicate their answers. The manager must pay attention to the information he receives, thanks to the employees tendency to say only good stuff to the boss: it may appear the deliberate misinformation.