We all communicate. Then, why not to try to communicate effectively? There are several advantages if you know how to communicate effectively.

- improves your well being and your mood
- you decrease conflict and stress
- improves the social support
- you can reduce hostility
- you can also reduce the possibility to get sick.



Maybe you have others reasons beside these, but it does not matter, what really matters is the importance of effective communication skills. With a little practice you can learn to say what you feel, what you think, and what you want, clear and comfortable. You can learn to say effectively what you like and what you do not, to accept graciously the compliments that you receive, to face criticism, to say no, - all those without inducing  extra stress to your mind and body. And because you will communicate more directly, other people will be willing to “meet” your needs.



There are some simple ways that to improve your communication and one of them is to learn to listen. Perhaps it goes without saying but a good listening is more than just to sit quietly, smile and hear the words of someone. It is a process that requires active participation, openness and receptivity.

1. Ask question for clarification. Behavioral decisions you take in a relationship with someone, are dependent on the information that you have. Ask a question in a friendly way when something is not clear. When you ask questions, you demonstrate your concern and interest. You can ask questions like: “Can you tell me more about this, please?” or “Can you give me an example?” or just say “I do not understand, explain please”.

Some people feel like they are attacked when someone is asking them questions. So, do this gently and supportive. Be careful especially with the question “Why”. For example: “Why are you talking like this?” use instead “Are you mad on something about me?”; or instead of “Why you did not call?” you rather use “You had to much work to do?”

2. Repeat what you heard. From the perspective of the one who is communicating, it is clearly when he does, but from the listener perspective, maybe it is not that obvious because listening is an internal process of the one who listens and then it is needed to “come to life”. Interlocutor’s words are the most vivid proof that someone is listened. If you do not pay attention when someone talks to you, you can not hear the words for real and then you can not reproduce them.

3. Find significance.

Repeating interlocutor’s words it does not always mean that we paid attention to his significance of the communication. Asking the right question you will be able to understand everything.



4. Ask about feelings.

Let your interlocutor to know that you heard about the emotional content of his communication. Listen between the lines. What does he feel but he does not say? You can be empathetic if you wonder yourself : “hmm, what can you feel from this experience?”

The body language (nonverbal communication) can give you many clues: posture, facial expression and gestures, they all emphasize emotions and then you can ask the person directly: “I see your tense, how do you feel?”

Any reason we might have for which communication seems more difficult to us, this should be an sign that there is a skill that can be learned.

Marriage is an important step of relationship and it does not have to be abandoned in the routine, emotional, social conventions and prototypes made in an ironic way. How to behave in marriage, how we can adapt naturally to each other, what advices we should follow, how we should take decisions, how we must solve problems, these are some questions that may one the way to a happy marriage.



The definition of marriage is .. ? It is there any definition of marriage? If I ask a priest to define marriage, sure we would give a definition, a psychologist too, but if we have to answer this question, would we find any explication of marriage?

Some people would say that is a union made for life between two should, others would say maybe that it is an ac of paper that can deteriorate at any time, but still, in the moment we step on this road, we want to have a happy marriage!



Are the advices needed for a happy marriage?

There appear more and more articles about how to behave with your partner, about what we have to do to have a normal family life or a happy marriage; at first, we think that we do not need any advices to succeed in this.

Life takes care to show both good and bad parts of it, so it is better to realize how much we want a happy marriage and try to focus more in this purpose.

Over time there were made many studies about the marriage and it was found that there are some “things” that can lead to the success of a marriage.



Here are some tips that might be useful at some point:

-         do not get both angry in the same time
-         when you criticize an attitude, a gesture, do it with cuteness
-         leave the past behind and do not remember the “former mistakes”
-         do not go to bed until you clear the conflict
-         when you made a mistake, recognize it and as for apology
-         always it takes two to start a fight, try to avoid it



In addition to these tips, the secret of a happy marriage depends mostly on the desire of the two!

Can decisions cause problems in marriage?

We do what we decide to do and what we are is the sum of all decision we make. That happens in marriage.  Even the simple “I do” said to religious ceremony when we get married, in fact is a decision.

It should not be that important who takes the decision in marriage; important is if the decision is the right one, if it is the best solution and if it will be accepted by the partner. Regardless of the problems encountered in marriage, they will not find their resolve if we do not accept that they exist. Keep your calm and take decisions together to solve your marriage problems.

Guidelines for an effective communication - Many men and many women have very limited communication skills and almost all feel uncomfortable when they negotiate emotionally charged conflicts in their personal relationships.



Couples during divorce, faces an extremely demanding task. They must be able to communicate and resolve their conflicts over the most important things in their lives – their children – with someone that they do not have any confidence, someone they are afraid of or someone they hate.

However, the parents need to cooperate and communicate with one other on the numerous issues related to children. Who will take children from school? When they go to the summer camp? How and when will participate in the meetings with parents? Who will go shopping for things they need at school?

Divorced parents are constantly faced with the need of taking decisions in the common daily activities related to children, and discuss about the values to educate children. There are no easy answers to such a serious task but they have guides on hand for the difficult negotiations structure and organization, which they are located in front of the divorced people.

The following list presents 10 of the basic principles for an effective communication:
1. Set a waved signal to end a conversation that could escalate into conflict. Do not continue argue when the other sends the signal to cease the conversation for 5 minutes.
2. Do not deviate from the issue that you are discussion. Do not bring to the surface earlier discussions and do not expand the current conflict on other issues.
3. Keep the conflict limits between you. Do not bring friends or family in question which would agree with you. For example, refrain yourself from saying: “Even my mother says...”.
4. Treat your ex-husband or your ex-wife with respect and refrain yourself from challenges. Do not cry, do not insult, and do not go for offending the other. Offending the other person will create nothing but problems.
5. Get involved physical and emotional into the discussion until the end of it. Do not leave the room to avoid conflict without announcing the other first. The withdrawal is often a manipulative strategy. If you choose to leave, before you do this, give the other person a chance to change the subject.  For example “I invoke the signal now and you don’t answer”. “If you do not stop the discussion now, I will leave”, etc.
6. You both determine which are the right moments for discussion. Do not negotiate under the influence of the alcohol or drugs.
7. Focus only on solving the problems. Do not try to intimidate your ex-wife or your ex-husband.
8. Listen carefully to other’s point. Do not pretend that you listen when in fact  you yell and formulate your own contradiction.
9. Discuss about specific behaviors without using pejorative labels.  For example: “You were 20 minutes late to take the kids from school”, this is more effective than saying: “ All the times you are late...”. Do not use generalizations like “you never”, “you always”.

10. Accept the responsibility for what you did wrong. Do not pass blame, hold the point of view of the ex-husband/wife and do not insist that your opinion is the only version of the truth.
Applying these rules, the couples that are in divorce will avoid the common pitfalls of the conflict negotiation. Of course, the success of these rules depends on the condition that both, husband and wife, to agree submitting to them as much as possible.

Better communication for a better relationship - Have you ever discussed with your partner about your marriage expectations? Do not get caught by the glamour of wedding and forget what it may happen after that. This decision will change your life. Be sure you did what you were supposed to do and that you are ready for the life after the honeymoon.

Before saying "yes" - In a time when the most marriages are under the divorce sign and less of the success, pre-wedding preparations are more important than ever. While you are concerned with what veil to wear or what kind of cookies you want, do not forget the importance of your training to make this marriage work. Spend as much time together and analyze the problems listed below. Show and talk about your points of view. This time is directly related to what happens in the future with your marriage.

Use the communication power
If you ask any couple which is the most important thing that they would like in their relationship, they will all say they want is a better communication. It seems that most times, account is taken of what we discuss; this is the only thing that has the power to destroy or to build a relationship. If you want to bring some improvements to this chapter in your relationship, get some free minutes and read these tips and ideas for a better communication between partners.

1.Communication means power – don’t abuse it
Like any other type of power, the fastest way to ruin, is the abuse. Remember that your words have long – term effects more then you ever imagine; it may happen later that the reason for which you have thrown in argument and which has created problems, not to be remembered but the feelings and words that you used, will not be forgotten. If you feel you want to say something offensive or without any importance, do not say anything. You can try other tactics such as to take a walk, write or clean, anything else to get you out of that state.

2.Communication means power – use it.
If you would have a tool to make you the richest man in the world, not using it would be the most absurd thing possible. This also can be applied to the communication. Take time to show that your love your partner, that she/he is gorgeous and great. Both, women and man love to hear nice words and know how much they are appreciated. If you won’t take time to tell your partner things like that, you will waste the most important tool you can ever use for a better relationship.

3.Tacit communication
Have you ever seen a movie in which the most powerful and sensitive scenes are those where no one speaks? This might happen to you too in the moment that you convince your boyfriend that about your feelings. Spend few minutes each day looking in each other eyes without saying anything; use your other senses to express what you want to communicate. You’ll be surprised how much joy this might bring.

4.Communicate without knowing that you do it
Sometimes you find that some stories from the past are special and extraordinary but at that time you did not believed this. You can create those moments including yourselves in activities; listen to music, play chess, talk about the dreams you have, play on the computer together, cook together, etc. The more time you spend together in various activities, the more there will not be any communication problems between you.